i will go nowhere but the crevice that 

separates the autonomy of Will and Deception. 

It occurs to me that the other night was no dream of ecstasy; he who garners no discipline

can withhold the potent force of exaltation. i've no thoughts of the far present that grants me a 

pea of peace, nor do i shy away from my 

faults. if man's dream's to see, why should he 

falter a rook, and surrender his king. 

i don't need people like that; 

where i wait around for 

because they're unsure

of me. 

where a facade is in place, 

a mask, as one in quarantine. 

i'm no disease that's waiting to be caught, 

because i already exist

within the world of moving thoughts; 

because i've been residing here 

where you've probably already forgot...

since we all move on

in a carousel 

that's coming close to a stop. 

if you understand what i don't 

we may just never know 

what it may mean to be 

when you realize what you long for 

it won't take long for 

you to make decisions that maybe...

may be will make you feel something 

i can't talk with a wall, but to a wall that 

adheres no more than a rock. that stands still 

and has no intention, but to maintain an image 

of robust reclusion. without an ajar opening, i

can't attend to its other side, that gets stained 

with ink and pressurized. i can only stand as 

still with a wall, but not as me, as something 

that grows and climbs over it, as a non-living

thing. 

i can't be afraid of something familiar, 

so known to me. it's all i've known, to be within

my mind. i do miss you, but you're an

unfamiliar unknown

someone to be re-acquainted with;

I dislike myself so heavily, and people 

can sense that I've no desires...no expectations, 

and so, they can use me. I'm unsure; because it hurts, 

but I would rather let someone else feel joy and 

contentment from my misery, because I've no use for 

happiness. Solitude has guided me through, and I 

want to believe it's helped. I'm a successful 

solitude symptom of sadness, and my eyes can use

the extra tears...to cure the dryness. 

it's no use to be acknowledged in the end- when to begin, your knowledge was left on a whim; to those that left you unheard, 

unnoticed. 

better off alone where I can be myself, at ease; 

where no one can convince me that i'm too

much. nothing is too serious where I reside, in

my thoughts that float around and bring me 

comfort. better off where the room i'm in

shields me until the next day, because the 

outside taunts me and makes fun of me. out there, 

i'm nothing. so then, off alone is where i 

belong. 

i'll go 

so soon. 

you won't

notice when

my presence

is missing, 

because i'll

be gone. 

Who are you now? Because I miss you. Remember when you would wake up at 4 a.m. to study? Back when nothing was too important, but you still made it something. You struggled sleeping, because when you closed your eyes, it was as if they were still open; you could see the darkness, and even feel it. So, who are you? Can you sleep well? Do you still study to calm your mind, to get rid of those useless thoughts? What goes on in your mind now? Remember those hours you spent alone? Are you still...alone? Because I remember that you were too shy and nervous, to ask your friends to hang out, because you knew they were also busy...and you only wanted to make decent memories. So, was it worth it? Do you still feel like you missed out? Or are you still missing out? Don't be scared. I want to know who you are, now that you're older. Have you accomplished your dreams yet? 

I hope you're okay. 

it takes someone

with a sense of self and doubt 

to comprehend what one is about. 

someone sensible, as a crackling pit of fire

that prevails attempts from the air

that either enhance or degrade its essence.